My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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