I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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