So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
