U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
