Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
being pregnant is like rehab
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize