JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
