she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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