It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
