Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
