so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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