so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
