After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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