Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
