I'm going to jail i love you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
