So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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