Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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