i don't like sucking hair
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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