I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
