Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
