I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
