there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
