wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize