i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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