if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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