i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think your dad took our porno
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
