u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
