I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
