Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
