don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
