So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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