I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
