Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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