Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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