Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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