Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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