Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
