You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
