we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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