If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
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