So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
