When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
