Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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