I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
how drunk are you?
Several
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
