I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
