I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize