Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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