yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize