Already got asked if we're dating
from now on my penis is your penis
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
