Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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