It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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