People in love make me want to vomit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
