I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
