I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
