Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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